I’ve seen many beaches in my travels and I would have to say that Boracay’s is the closest to paradise. It’s an amazing place. I would highly recommend it! Yes, it’s even better than Thailand!
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Philippines
For those of you who don’t know, Filipinos love showbiz. They love to sing and dance and perform. This is why karaoke has been banned in Philippine prisons – it takes up too much electricity. However, they have come up with a performance program in one of the biggest prisons in the country to create confidence and camaraderie in inmates.
This past Christmas, during our month long visit with relatives in the Philippines, we got pretty used to daily karaoke parties, dancing babies and showbiz television. Below is our family’s version of all three.
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It’s been nearly three weeks since we all left the Philippines. The month-long holiday with the family was slated to be life changing but I didn’t really know then just how much. During my travels, I will sometimes browse through our pictures and laugh and cry remembering it all. The love of cousins, the wisdom of aunts and uncles, the sheer joy of our dancing and silliness. It was all just so amazing.
With some distance of time and space, the more important things come to the surface. Perspective. Wisdom. Insight. Gratitude. My cousins have all grown up in pretty humble conditions and my parting words to all of them – young and old – was to dream big. Dream big. The status quo does not have to be the status quo forever. Just like my parents dreamt big, they too can dream big and have something better, different, bigger than what they have now.
My little cousin Joy, a few weeks after we left, sent me an email. She’s 11 and so full of laughter and love. She said that she missed our time together and wondered how she could email DJ because she can’t write in English (this was all in Tagalog). She told me about all of her wishes and dreams. First, she’d always wanted a rolling backpack with wheels. She’d wanted it since the first grade and finally, four years later, when my Aunt was able to go abroad for a few months, Joy got her rolling bag. She also told me about how she’d love to see Boracay. She asked how much it cost, if it was nice, how she’d really like to visit it in the future. And then she said that her goal is to have a bike someday.
I read this and choked. She’s nearly 12 and has never had a bike! She’ll be starting High School soon and to think that throughout her whole childhood, she didn’t ever have a bike! I emailed my Mom and asked her to send money on my behalf so that Joy can have her bike. I gave the gift with the message that now that she has her rolling backpack and bike, she can dream EVEN BIGGER. Dream even bigger Joy.
And it has all gotten me to thinking a lot about how to make a difference in the lives of young girls in third world countries. How do you motivate them to work hard at school, so that they earn the scholarships that will get them the education that they need to pull themselves and their families out of poverty? Is it a parenting thing? A personality thing? Is it discipline and mentorship and guidance? Is it funding? What kind of funding? I don’t have the answer.
But I do feel that it’s important to empower young women at an early age. It’s important that they get the education that they need to feel good about themselves, so that they don’t marry early and have children too early. It’s important that they have a sense of self worth, a sense of confidence and purpose, a sense that they can achieve their goals and dreams. How do you communicate that to an 11 year old? How will it all stick? Is it a matter of making sure that they have their basic needs met, so that they can concentrate on the aspirational ones? What do they need? Hope? Pressure? Proof of past successes? I don’t have the answers but I’d really like to find them. It’s the kind of work that I think really matters and would make a real difference.
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… a great place to learn the difficult art of patience.
Like yesterday, when the bus to Melaka left 45 minutes late. Why? I don’t know. I think the driver was having a smoke.
Or today when the commuter train didn’t show up for a half hour. I could have walked to my destination.
Or in Ubud when the water shut off in the mid-afternoon. Why? I don’t know.
Or today when the cab driver insisted I pay him 10 RM instead of the 5 RM on the meter. Right. 100% tip. I’m generous, but not that generous.
Or the traffic. Everywhere. Enough said.
Today, I am a more patient person.
Breathe.
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Sometimes I am guilty of taking Asia for granted. Because I remember a lot of my early childhood from the Philippines (we lived there till I was 5), much of the scenery and culture in Asia feels familiar to me. We spent weekends in the province among rice fields and bamboo cottages. We pumped water from a well, tended to chickens and pigs in my grandparents’ backyard and have been part of most 3rd-world-country dodgy activities that the west would consider illegal (i.e. lighting large home made fireworks in the front driveway on New Year’s Eve). I’ve seen dirt and poverty and pollution. And foods like salted shrimp paste and rambutan and durian don’t surprise me. But traveling through Asia this time around has really helped me to see this place differently. I can decipher the things that are similar across countries and all the things that are different. Though I hate to generalize an entire planetary region, there are several themes/foods/behaviours that ring true for many of the Asian countries I’ve visited thus far. Here are a few:
- Rice. If you’ve ever learned about how rice is harvested, you probably have a greater appreciation for the staple crop. Growing rice is HARD WORK! It is laborious and backbreaking. It takes a whole community of people to tend to rice fields, to plant the seeds and to harvest the crop. We take it for granted that it is so plentiful but oh my gosh, it is a crop grown with the labor of love.
- Night markets. What is it about westerners and night markets? I am staying in the middle of Chinatown in KL and at night the place is full of westerners buying fake Rolexes and Billabong shorts and LV rolling luggage bags. I understand it feels exotic but there are markets like this in every major city in the world, including San Francisco! The best part about these markets aren’t the things you can buy but the crazy foods that you can try. Fried scorpions in Beijing, durian in KL, snake-skin fruit in Bali and fried salted fish galore everywhere.
- Strange dessert foods that I loooove! Warm soy bean curd with brown sugar syrup (I used to have this for breakfast as a child in the Philippines and found a cart selling it just around the corner here in KL!), red bean pastries, sweetened cooked corn kernels in a cup (there is actually a fast food chain that sells this like McDonald’s sells chocolate covered sundaes), salted dried tamarind fruit, bubble tea (sweet juices with tapioca balls), black rice pudding, fried bananas.
- Scooters. Everywhere. They serve as long-haul buses for entire families: the mom, the dad, the two babies, the toddler, the 2 roosters, the couch and the neighbour. They are utilized to the max and can dramatically change the economics of an entire community.
- Fantastically prepared fruits and vegetables. Avocado juice (avocado blended with milk and sugar is amazing), salted pineapples, sweet mango with pungent shrimp paste, banana pancakes, ginger teas, sticky rice cooked in fragrant banana leaf, purple yam pudding, vinegar and sour green mango, jackfruit in warm rice and sweet milk.
- Cheap movies. Though I don’t agree to purchasing pirated originals, I was shocked to walk into what looked like an HMV only to realize that I was browsing new release DVD copies that were selling for the equivalent of $1.50 USD each. In the last two weeks I’ve seen the latest Harry Potter, Revolutionary Road (which is SO very depressing), the latest two Batmans and Underworld Revolutions for basically nothing.
- Terribly unethical tobacco advertising. On TV tobacco advertisements are the equivalent of a mini Survivor Man movie. They are disgustingly aspirational – touting adventure, ruggedness, masculinity and escape. One shows a man trying to climb a snowy mountain. He is overcome by an avalanche but manages to dig his way out to victory. Then, BOOM, the “International” tobacco brand is plastered across the screen. Tobacco is so very cheap in this part of the world. Sadly, affordably addictive.
And now some interesting differences…
In Bali, even though I didn’t have international TV at all (not even the BBC or CNN), watching local TV was fascinating. In one commercial break there were at least 3 or 4 different advertisements for what looked like psychics or fortune tellers or prophets of some kind. They all touted things like success, health, happiness and love (guessing from what I could make out of Bahasa Indonesian). You could text for a quote, or perhaps an appointment? So interesting!
Kuala Lumpur (which means ‘muddy conglomerate’ because of the original site’s rich deposits of tin and silver) has been a real surprise! I had always known that Malaysia is a Muslim country but never really thought about how that fact would translate when I got here. It is so very multicultural and much more liberal than I originally anticipated. There are people of all shapes and colours, veiled and unveiled, Asian and Western. And the architecture is different from any other place I’ve seen in Asia because it’s Islamic. Typically Islamic art has focused on the depiction of patterns and Arabic calligraphy instead of living figures because it is feared by many Muslims that the depiction of the human form is idolatry and a sin against Allah. Thus, Islamic art and architecture will usually showcase beautiful floral and geometric designs (like the Petronas towers).
And well, the Philippines. I could go on and on about how it is different but I would be a little bit biased with my insider’s view. I would have to say that of all the strange foods that I’ve seen in other parts of the world, the Philippines tops my list for having the STRANGEST dishes of them all:
- balut: a boiled, half fertilized duck egg with yoke and baby chick inside (I used to eat this as a child but can’t bring myself to have it now as an adult!)
- kare-kare: meat (usually oxtail and innards) with coconut and peanut sauce
- sisig: crispy fried (usually spicy) pork ears
- dinuguan: pork blood stew with liver and meat
- buro: fermented fish and fish eggs (the smell is just ridiculous!)
If you’re brave enough to try any of the above, you are invited to come with me when I go back to the Philippines next year!
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Our multi-occasion party on January 2nd was a great success. 150 guests from both the Gamboa and Castelvi side of the family attended. We celebrated my Grandfather’s 80th birthday, my Grandma’s 79th, my Dad’s 53rd, my Uncle Jhet’s 53rd and my parents’ 28th Wedding Anniversary. Phew! We really know how to milk a get together for all that it’s worth! Below are some highlights.
Castelvi Grandchildren
Castelvi Girls: Joy, Denise, Jen, Rachelle, Shane and Ronalie
Mama’s sisters and sister-in-laws
Grandpa and Auntie Pilar
Joshua and cousin Lizeth from the Gamboa side
Cristina and Bea (my God daughter) from the Gamboa side
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I am sitting in MNL airport, waiting to board my flight to SIN. Mom, Dad and DJ have just left for their flight to Hong Kong. This is the start of my solo journey – first to Singapore, then to Bali and then I don’t know what next. It is surreal to be here on my own. For the first time in over three weeks, I am truly on my own again. After being surrounded by dozens of relatives 24/7 for nearly a month straight, even in a crowded terminal full of hundreds of people, there is a quiet that I can’t describe.
How can I explain the love that is emanating from inside me?! I didn’t even know it existed, this amazing, overwhelming love that only blood relatives can bring. With cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents, an unconditional love flowered from the instant we stepped out of the airport more than three weeks ago and since then we’ve been drowning in it. I am moved, touched, different from when we first came and I hope that I will never be the same again.
Last night, during our leaving party, after 15 years of being away, DJ cried. He said that everyone filled a void he didn’t even know existed, that they showed him a love that he can’t describe, that he fell in love over and over again with every single one of the relatives he met. I couldn’t have said it differently. We all run around looking to fall in love, to feel something outside of ourselves that can complete us somehow. Family can do that in an instant. In a smile 15 years overdue, in laughter over memories from childhood past, in a meal cooked with tired hands in a backyard kitchen, family love can complete us.
I feel new, refreshed, whole in a different way. Knowing that there is an army of people ready to fight for me, ready to catch me when I fall, ready to wipe these tears from my face, ready to welcome me with open arms: there is no greater feeling of freedom and security. I am washed over with peace, with a wealth and joy inside me that I can’t describe. So this is what it feels like to be rich.
Though the end of this trip came much too quickly, this new year has just begun. And I feel blessed and happy and ready to take on what’s next. There is no searching or longing or looking back. There is just the world, the road and an unyielding faith that everything will be great. My family has shown me that not time, nor distance, nor change can conquer a love this strong. And with that assuredness, my centre of gravity has shifted forever. It is not place that makes a life, it is people. And this is the surest compass that I know.
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We had a massive family reunion/party tonight. A party to celebrate a zillion occasions – my grandfather’s 80th birthday, my grandmother’s 79th, my Dad’s 53rd and my parents’ 28th wedding anniversary. We had 150 guests at a catered restaurant venue nearby. Everyone dressed up and it was amazing to have both the Gamboas and the Castelvis together in one room. I’ll be able to post pictures and details later, but I wanted to share something I said about my parents, celebrating their anniversary. They’ve taught us the values of hard work, true love and real friendship.
I’d like to take a few minutes to talk about my parents.
I’m 27 years old now (and note, I turn 28 this year and my parents are celebrating their 28th wedding anniversary….if you do the math, it is clear that they were really eager to have me!). I’m 27 now and I’ve spent much of my twenties abroad. I’ve been very blessed to have had the opportunity to work and travel to over 60 countries in the last few years, having worked at a fantastic multinational company. Over and over again, I’ve found myself in moments of quiet, so so thankful for the blessings that have been bestowed upon me. I’ve ridden airplanes like they are taxis, have met countless international friends and have been exposed to far more of the world’s wonders than I could have hoped for. But besides the glamour and joy of seeing new places, travel has an ironic way of teaching perspective. The more I see other places, the more I appreciate home. There is an abundance of joy in the presence of family that can’t be found anywhere else, even if you search all corners of the globe. And coming back here to the Philippines has been another one of those life changing moments where perspective suddenly hits you in the face.
A few days ago, Dad and I were sitting in a coffee shop at SM Pampanga talking about the state of the Philippines – the progress of the country and the state of government, the economy and urban development. And then I asked him “Dad, how different would things have been if we hadn’t left for Canada when I was 5 years old?”. And immediately he answered, “You and DJ would have turned out the same. You know why? Because we would have continued to put a premium on education. You would have attended the best schools, I would have made sure that we lived in the safest and most decent neighborhoods and we would have pushed to ensure that you had as many opportunities open to you as possible.” He said, “Once you have children, they become your number one priority and giving your children the gift of education is the best thing that you can do as a parent”.
In that moment, I saw my dad not just as my dad anymore, but as this amazing, respectable, responsible human being – so full of wisdom and patience, whose love, sacrifice and discipline paved the way for good schools, good job opportunities and ultimately all the amazing experiences that I’ve had in the last few years. He’s a man without vices (he doesn’t smoke, or gamble or indulge in any obsessions), he is pragmatic and sensible (even to this day, he still won’t buy anything unless it is discounted, 50% off or on sale), and he is the most patient man I know.
I think that much of the success of our family has come from my parents’ hard work. They really are a team, partners in crime, hard working and responsible people who dared to dream bigger than the norm, who didn’t fear the unknown, who truly believed that they could achieve all of their goals and dreams, in God’s name, all the while remaining humble and never forgetting their roots, where they came from and the family members whose blood they share.
My Mom is the flamboyant one: the life of the party, she is biba and ma porma and so full of joy. If later tonight you see someone dancing on the tables, it will probably be my mother! I have never met a more joyful, giving, generous, loving person in this world. She cries with me in my pains and celebrates with me in my joys and she is the person I will instantly turn to in moments when I need a smile or some inspiration. When I worked in London, we would schedule conference calls with each other during work hours just to laugh a little in the middle of our days! =) But in addition to her fun loving attitude, she is the most driven, successful woman that I know. She works extraordinarily hard in her career and will give 200% of her effort, when only 100% is needed. She is literally my SuperWoman. My mom’s favourite karaoke song is Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler (maybe you’ll be lucky tonight to hear her rendition of it). And whenever she sings it, it always feels to me that she is singing it to my Dad somehow. Because behind her successes, is also a man who was there to support her. Behind the incredible opportunities and promotions and acclimations, there was a man who was there to welcome her home, to cheer her on, to make her laugh. Some of the words in the song go like this:
You were content to let me shine, that’s your way,
you always walked a step behind.
Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
and ev’rything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
As an adult, it has been a blessing to witness this kind of team work and love in my parents. They have instilled values of true commitment, hard work, discipline and a wonderful joy and laughter in the way that they live their lives. And all of it has been an amazing gift to both my brother and I. So, I’d like to take this opportunity to toast my Dad, and the woman whose hand he won, my wonderful beautiful malarit mother Connie. We are so so blessed to have them as our parents and also as our very good friends. Happy Birthday Daddy and Happy Anniversary to you both! =)
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Every time we go back to the Philippines, there is always a new dance craze that EVERYONE knows. EVERYONE – from little 2 year old babies to the biggest superstars on TV. It’s like the Macarena craze but here the craze happens every six months. This season, it’s a song called “Nobody” by the Wonder Girls, a K-Pop (Korean Pop) dance tune that will fill a dance floor in 2 seconds. My cousins all know this dance and have been performing it at every opportunity. Below are some videos of my niece Anne leading the show. =) Notice my mother in the first video? =)
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It has taken FOREVER to find internet connection fast enough for video uploading but I’m happy to say that a few are finally up!
Below is a smidgen from the Giant Lantern Festival that we attended last week. It will give perspective to the pictures I posted then.
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