Stumbled upon this while boutique browsing in Los Gatos this past weekend. Made us all laugh out loud. =)
{ 0 comments }
Girl Talk
A few months ago, on a fresh London evening, a girl friend and I were sitting at a pub catching up about the year away. We talked travel and work and friendship. Under the buzz of after-office revelry, we opened up about pain and history and the men in our lives. She asked me about the Boy and how things were going. And I said in an instant, “I don’t know how it’s possible but everyday it gets better and better. Usually, things start out really great and fizzle away over time, but with this one, it’s been the opposite”. She smiled and said, ”I love the slow burn”.
The slow burn.
Like unwrapping a present one fold at a time, the slow burn is an exercise in patience. It’s believing when there is no proof. It’s anticipating when there is no map. It’s moving forward in the complete pitch black trusting that whatever happens, things will turn out as they should. It’s the opposite of control. It’s about not needing to know the future, it’s about being ok with uncertainty, it’s about embracing the moment.
The last year away has been a slow burn for me. So much of the path I took while traveling, exploring and learning was uncharted. On certain occasions, I didn’t even know where I’d sleep that night. And on a grander scale, I had no idea what I was going to do after the journey was over, whenever “over” came. It was an exercise in becoming completely comfortable with myself and all the non-answers that plagued me. Did I make the right decision? Am I in the right place? Where will I be a year from now?
There were moments during my travels when these questions would drive me crazy. I’d been so used to having answers, to having it all planned out. Sitting in the nucleus of a self-made bubble of ambiguity was sometimes painful, sometimes exhilarating and almost always scary.
It has taken me a while to realize this but the slow burn is probably one of life’s best gifts. In friendship, in work, in love and in dreams, the most important element is time. Time reveals all the details that matter. Time gives you the perspective and level-headedness to see past the fear, the heady excitement and the unease of change. It helps you dig through the superficial and gives you the clarity to really see the bare bones truth of what you need to know. It really is like opening the most amazing present there is, one small fold, one piece of scotch-tape at a time.
Patience is key. Welcome the slow burn. If you rush through, you may miss out on the stuff that matters.
{ 2 comments }
If you’ve ever been at a Starbucks long enough to eavesdrop on two women chatting over coffee, you’ll realize quickly (especially if you’re a man) just how crazy the world of girl talk can be. Scratch that. It’s not crazy, it’s … ridiculous. We women are ridiculous. Even though I participate in said girl talk regularly, I’m still amazed at how we’re able to perpetuate hours of conversation on insignificant details regarding our interactions with the opposite sex. Hours and hours on what he said, what he didn’t say, what he did and how and why and when and where. Imagine how much more productive we’d be and how we could increase our creative output if we just STOPPED doing that and spent time on other things?!?! We’d have cured cancer, AIDS, world hunger by now!!!
This is an excerpt from a chat I had with a girl friend earlier today….
K: denise!
me: hey miss!
K: thanks for coming out last night to somerset house. hope u guys had fun
me: it was a cool experience!!
and it was so nice to see you!!
K:
btw that boy i was telling u about on monday night
he sent me an email yesterday saying he had fun.. but that was it and like an idiot i responded with an email that i thought was casual but fun. i ran it past two guy friends here at work and they said nope.. u seem too keen!
me: LOL
oh goodness!K: and of course i haven’t heard from him yet
ugh!me: these MEN and their stupid games!
K: dating life sucks!!!
me: LOL.
don’t stress!
i have friends who get texts from girls they are IN LOVE WITH and they look at the text, talk to each other and are like “Ok, i won’t reply to her today. Maybe tomorrow or the next”
and i am like ARE YOU GUYS RETARDED?!?!?!?!K: hahaha are u serious?
me: YES
SO STUPIDK: UGH
so this was our email exchange
from him:Hi K,
Good fun last night!
Rxx
and then my novel to him:
Definitely – can’t remember the last time I had so much fun on a Monday night!
Heading out to see a movie at Somerset in a bit. What’s going on at your end this evening…practicing ballet in your large bathroom? Now that I’ve had the pleasure of getting acquainted with your singing skills..I’m quite tempted to see your pirouette!
me: that’s not bad
it’s totally flirtyK: yes … the boys said the opening line was TOO intense and the “what’s going on with you this evening” says that i want to see him that evening.. which is SO NOT the case
me: oh goodness
Kinnari: yep!
me: let me see what the Boy thinks.
K: i bet he’ll say the same!
me: He says it’s fine. BUT NOW I AM MAD AT HIM FOR BEING A PART OF THE MALE SPECIES! because now i am irritated at men in general because they’re so dumb
K: he says it’s fine?? come on, tell me exactly what he said!
me: he said that it was friendly and that it’s the guy’s loss if he doesn’t reply
K: how cute. He’s a sweetie
me: BUT you know what, He never replied to my text messages either.
K: No??? why not?
me: it was only thanks to C that i didn’t drop him completely
she was like “oh, he seems shy. give him a chance”
and i was like “i don’t want a guy that i have to chase!”K: hahahhahaha
me: so then i emailed him one last time and he asked me out
FINALLY!
SO NOW I AM ANNOYED!K: LOL
you are funnyme: anyway, i am asking him for his feedback again and he said the same: “It’s the guy’s loss if he doesn’t reply”. BORING!!! Why can’t he indulge and analyze the email for two hours like we do?!?!?!
LOL
K: hahhahaha. Seriously! Can u believe how much time we WASTE on this shit?
me: LOL!
K: i thought for at least 20 minutes on what to write in that email
me: LOLLL
K: just to his “had fun last night”
JESUS
and now another hour stressing about how i sent the wrong msg
lol
absolute idiotme: I’m dying here!
SO FUNNY!
i can’t stop laughing.
dumb men.K: hahaha
no
men are not dumb
we are. we are the ones that are wasting our time analyzing every word and gesture endlessly
oh he held my hand this way instead of thisme: LOL
K: (literally, yesterday at the bar, i was telling the girls how we were holding hands)
me: so true!
K: men spend their time on wiser things
me: what do they spend their time on?
K: the usual ones on beer and sports
me: lol
K: the smart ones on reading about the world, talking about news.. life etc.
me: you’re so right
K: when do you find a group of guys talking about some girl one of them met?
me: true true! We need to spend our energies on other things! THAT is wisdom miss!
K: yep absolutely. you need to write a blog post about this!
me: Yes.
K: tell all the women to stop!
me: I will. Ok, let’s touch base later about plans for tonight. Thanks for making my day. Such a laugh!
K: Cross your fingers for me. Hope he emails
me: it’s his loss if he doesn’t! and THAT would be stupid of him
K:
see what 30 does for u?:)
makes u pretty secureme:
YES!!!!
love it!!!!
{ 0 comments }
