My Dearest Baby Brother,
Happy Graduation!
There was never any doubt in our minds that this day would come but now that it has, I can’t contain my excitement for you. I am so expectant. For years now, I’ve been waiting to see how you will harness all that the world has to offer, to do the great things I know you’re capable of. You are capable of such amazing things. It is scary to imagine just how far you will go. You will go so far. I promise.
But I also know how daunting it can be to leave the comfortable nest of student-hood to face the real world. This feeling of being at the edge of a cliff, looking out into the dark horizon without the faintest idea about what comes next is (in my experience) a constant in life.
Though I certainly don’t presume to know the secrets to success or happiness in this world, the older sister in me can’t help but write this letter in an attempt to share some bits of unsolicited advice.
Advice is a funny thing. Baz Luhrmann once put it this way:
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
And so, with all my love, a bit of fresh paint and hindsight, here are my bits of recycled wisdom. Take them with an open heart and a grain of salt.
Fear is a constant. And so is Change.
Life is a long journey.
One very dear friend told me once, “Denise, life is long. It’s not too late to start playing the piano.” This after I lamented about being too old to learn to play music, too old to become an expert dancer, too old to become an athlete. He is 50 and envisions another lifetime of new adventures. Assuming that you’ll live till at least 90 years old, you’ve got 60+ years of doing and learning and seeing to do! There are no excuses! Remember: the race is long and in the end, it’s only with yourself. Whatever you’re doing and whatever you’re not, you can very easily change directions and try something different..
Be present.
The past is gone and tomorrow will never come. All you have is this moment. For the longest time I’ve searched for my purpose, the one true thing that I’m meant to be doing in this world. But maybe it’s not about doing some grandiose thing. Maybe it’s doing a bunch of different things that really matter to me in the time that I’m doing them. I’ve learned that what’s most important is being present. Whether we’re spending time with family or friends, whether we’re working or playing, now is the time to give 100% of our effort and attention. Maybe that’s what being present is about. And maybe that’s the way to live the best life now.
Give.
Of your time, of your love, of your patience, of your talents. It is profoundly karmic and healing. It opens you up, softens your heart, transforms you into a vessel of abundance and blessing.
Lastly, Trust.
Trust in your abilities, trust in the plan that has been set for you by something/someone larger than yourself. There is so much in this world that you cannot control and you’ll go crazy in your head trying to bend others to your will. Trust in the process of discovery and I promise you will find joys and opportunities that you’d never fathomed to be possible.
And know that every step of the way and in every circumstance, we (Mom, Dad, Bear and I) will be with you always. We are so very blessed to have seen you walk this journey and can’t wait to see the next chapters unfold.
All my Love,
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