A Girl in the World

April 2010

A "Crisis of Coins"

April 29, 2010

This place is the Wild Wild West.  Someone blatantly jumps in front of you in the grocery store queue.  A fist fight on the sidewalk.  Traffic jams at every major and non-major intersection between here and Texas.  Dishonest cabbies, apathetic customer service reps, irresponsible dog owners who refuse to pick up after their pets.  This is Buenos Aires.  It is beauty, love and madness.

Whenever we get together with Porteños, conversations inevitably wander towards politics, the state of the economy and the backwards workings of a once mighty place.  Similar to other young democracies in Asia and other parts of the developing world, Argentina finds itself in the throes of well-meaning leaders who just can’t help being a little more selfish than the next guy.  And being with an Argentinian means that I’m witness to the average Argie’s gripes and frustrations every single day.  Mostly, people find a way to laugh it off.  No sense in worrying about something that you can’t change (ha, the irony of democracy).

Inefficient government and government policies, combined with a resourceful pool of determined citizens yield a system and way of life just a little different from the western world.  Cash-only rental, real estate sales and restaurant transactions.   Bribery in business.  Dishonest and corrupt law enforcement officials.  A virtually zero credit economic system (homes, cars, and rents are all paid in cold hard USD cash).  And, fake money.

Now, friends who’ve visited Argentina in the past have groaned about being duped with fake money by taxi drivers.  Three months of living on and off in the country last year and not once did I come across fake bills.  But last week, as we hurried out of a cab to get to dinner, the cabbie slipped us a 50 peso fake and it was only after a few days that we’d realized we were scammed.  And though 50 pesos only translates to about 12 USD, I don’t like the feeling of being taken advantage of.  I was royally annoyed.

But you know what’s amazing?  Whereas I was annoyed about the situation, the Boy, as always, was cool, calm and collected.  He laughed it off and said that we’d just put the fake back into the system.  Simple.

Right. Of course.  Just put it right back into the system.  Why didn’t I think of that?

And the more time I spend here, the more amazed I am to see how nonchalantly the locals have found a way to cope with such backwardness.  The legal and illegal things have all found a way to weave themselves into the normal course of daily life here.

Last night during dinner, we talked about the “crisis of coins”.  The subway and bus systems here are relatively efficient ways of getting around, albeit not very efficiently managed.  Subway passes only work for subways and most buses only take cash (1 peso, to be exact).  This means that in a city of 9 million people, the majority of the population is ducking underground or hopping on a colectivo every single day, at least twice a day.  Imagine the demand for coins.  One peso coins, to be exact.  And imagine the opportunities if you’re the owner of a corner-street kiosk, selling small change items like candy, cigarettes and chewing gum.  There are crowds of people with two peso, five peso and 10 peso bills aching for change.  Perhaps that little pack of gum over there, instead of pricing it at 1 peso flat, you can price it at 1.25 or 1.50.  Wouldn’t you much rather change a 5 peso bill and earn a few cents more on the transaction?

Supposedly, the demand for coins once created a black market system where people would ask to change a 10 peso bill and be forced to accept 9 pesos in return, the kiosk owner pocketing 1 peso in ‘commission’ for the service.  Clever, no? =)

Coming from clean, boring Canada, the Wild Wild West ways of doing things here fascinate me.  The economic systems that evolve in places where governments are still struggling to rightfully fulfill their duties to the people are incredibly interesting.  It feels like every day yields a new surprise, a different perspective in ways of doing things.

This is what deep travel is all about: the process of peeking around the folds and understanding the quiet ways people cope with their laws and limitations, with all things good and bad about daily life in a big city.  This is a whole new education.

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Quality, not quantity

April 29, 2010

The older we get, the more we need the people we knew when we were young.

It’s 2:30 AM and we’ve just finished with the dishes from tonight’s dinner with friends.  Lots of wine, picadas and pizza.  Wow, it is so nice to be able to socialize with a few familiar faces.  Sometimes, this adventurous lifestyle of moving around and conquering a whole new city can deprive one of the comforting, stable joy of good friends.

Throughout my travels, I’ve met a lot of people.  Crazy, smart, fun individuals who bring their own spice to life.  But as amazing as its been to run around and party with a bunch of strangers who have nothing to lose, there’s nothing more heart warming than catching up with people who’ve known you while sober.  It is so nice to talk about politics, old travel stories, and memories of years past from the comforts of the kitchen table, instead a sticky kiosk from a smokey bar.  Simple, down-to-earth shared time.  It makes such a difference.

The last time we met with Greg and Ana was six months ago when I was here in November.  Back then I was full of pent-up travel angst.  I was itching to hit the road, to see Asia, to wander and jump on the backpacker band wagon.  I wanted to be everywhere at once, happy to be in BA but even happier that it was for a limited amount of time.  Wow, how things change after a little time and a lot of experience. Today, there is zero desire in me to run around marking countries off a long list of things to do.

I *love* the little home that we’ve built here with our small basil plant and fresh daisies.  I love the routine of school, work and coffee dates with friends.  I love the subtitled movies, cheesy Spanish pop radio and corner fruit stands.  I love the stable, constant, tenderness of being with my love.  It has been so good for the soul.

I wish I could kidnap all the important in my life and plant them all in BA.  I don’t need many people.  Just a few good friends, my parents, my brother, my dog.  They’re enough. Actually, they’re more than enough; they’re everything.

These pockets of time catching up over coffee, sharing a meal, going for a walk, or sending an email that is real and open and intimate – all with friends who make a positive difference in my life – are such blessings.  I need to make sure these connections happen more often.  They’re the moments that matter most.

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Pesadillas

April 27, 2010

Nightmares. I’ve been having a bunch of them lately. In all sorts of forms and sizes. I remember killing someone slowly with a bread knife in the front seat of a car. Another time I was being chased by no one in particular. A few days ago the boy had to wake me up because I was sobbing in my sleep. It was something about a sad man and his very sad dog.

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Last night’s was the weirdest. There were several of us in the house and a man had come in threatening to kill us all. We decided to hide. I hid in the clothes dryer and when he checked inside, I had to play dead. I woke up at 6.45 AM with the image of a man’s head staring at me from the outside of a clothes dryer. I tried to get back to sleep but couldn’t. So I grabbed breakfast, watched BBC news and saw the sunrise for the first time in many many months.

What hidden message is my subconscious trying to communicate? Murder, sad dogs and being trapped in a clothes dryer. I do not see a theme. I am either a) insane, b) totally disturbed, or c) suffering the consequences of fostering a wild imagination and encouraging the trauma by snacking before bed. I’m hoping it’s c).

But let’s pretend I’m b) totally disturbed. What is it that I’m running away from? Who is the man poking at me from outside the clothes dryer and why am I so scared of him? Is he some representation of my own fears? A person whose ghost I should lay to rest? Is he God trying to tell me something and I’m not listening?! Is he the Boogeyman?!

I’ve never had straight weeks of constant nightmares before. It must be something I’m eating. We changed the duvet just around the same time my mares started to appear. Could it be I’m allergic to wool? The wise me says I should dig deeper – figure out what it is that I’m so scared of. But honestly, I don’t even know. If anything, I’m scared of fear and it’s debilitating power to paralyze, to lay seeds of doubt, to make us stop before we even begin. But I know that. I face that fear everyday. So why would Fear be knocking on my door every night needing so much attention?!

Is there a psychologist in the house? I’d love a diagnosis. Anyone?

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It’s a crisp, breezy evening in this here BA. A perfectly clear night for spying on our neighbours.

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… and poured full sentences of Castellano out of my mouth!  Full sentences!  Out of MY mouth! Like mute babies who all of a sudden start talking out of the blue, I started pulling words out of the air to build sensical phrases on the spot. Like a storm, it all just came raining down.

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I don’t want to beat this language learning thing like a dead horse, but wow the little victories count for a lot. Last night, the boy’s mom was over for dinner and in one fell swoop I said, “Estoy cansada. Normalmente, no tengo clases los viernes, pero por la huelga de maestras en marzo, tenemos una clase hoy.”

I stopped and looked at the boy, our jaws hanging down to the floor in shock.  Did all of that just come out of my mouth, in real time?! I looked around to see if someone else could have said that out loud because that couldn’t have possibly been me, could it?!

We high-fived across the table like it was new year’s eve 1999. You cannot even imagine the elation.

We celebrated with milanesa de pollo delivery and a kilo bucket of ice cream. Reward systems are important. =)

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After writing about my demoralizing weekend of not being able to communicate with the boy’s family, I’ve received lots of great advice on how I can speed up my uptake of Castellano.  Everything from more dinners out (great!), more local TV watching and tandem language partnering!

I’ve decided that I’m going to look for the Spanish subtitled versions of Sex and the City (at least the subject matter will keep me interested and learning Spanish words for some of the things that come out of Samantha’s mouth will, at the very least, be memorable) and I’m going to purchase a box of flashcards so I can easily collect verbs.  Flashcards worked wonders in university when I was learning formulas, definitions and chemical elements.  My geeklette flashcards were so good, in fact, that people would nearly mug me at the library trying to steal them from me! Yes. Dorkness.

But what I’m most excited about trying is an idea my friend AV sent:  find an interesting Spanish music artist, purchase the CD and learn all of the songs.  Brilliant, right?  I used to be in choir.  I’m all about the singing.

Well, because I’m such a considerate and giving person, I asked the boy last night who his favourite Spanish artist is.  I figured I’d be merciful.  If he’s going to be dealing with my endless singing for the next few weeks maybe he should get a say in my choice of karaoke practice.  

And you know what he answered?

Riki Martin.  

Yes.  That’s Right.  

And I was like, “What?!  You want to hear me singing UNO, DOZ, TRES, LIVIN’ LA VIDA LOCA! all day long?!  Are you nuts?”

And then we thought of Shakira.  She’s cool, she’s hot, she’s a she wolf.  But I can’t be overly ambitious here.  The woman yodels.  And she does crazy things with her hips that I can’t do.  I think she’ll just make me feel more insecure ;)

So, we’re at a standstill.  Riki Martin and Shakira.  That’s the best we could come up with.  Pathetic, right?  

We need help.  Any suggestions?  Carlos Bauté?  Eros Ramazzotti? Sakis? OMG Sakis!  HE IS SO HOT!  Maria and I agreed we’d have his babies together!  But wait, he’s Greek.  I digress.

Advice, anyone?  ;)

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Feelin’ on fire today

April 20, 2010

Ever have days when you feel like you’re totally in the zone of what you’re doing?  You’re lost, you’re engaged, you’re excited.  Well, that’s me today.  Since 9 AM I’ve been motoring away at all sorts of things that were on my list of things to do and it feels good to be so productive.

Productivity and Creativity are interesting monsters.  Sometimes, days can go by with no sightings at all but on rare occasions I find just the right amount of inspiration, openness and excitement to summon their presence.  It’s as if my perspective is completely different on days like these.  How do I know?  

My tea tastes better because the mug I’m using has a fun cartoon printed on it.

It’s cloudy but oh my gosh so beautiful.

The TV can be blasting and I don’t hear it at all.  It’s tunnel vision, one-way, focus.

I get hyper excited over things like UI design and copy editing and all things tedious but important in product creation.

I write emails in Español for the fun of it and my grammar ends up being correct (by the way, after last night’s class, I’m feeling much better about my Spanish learning.  Nothing like the sheltered cocoon of school to boost the ego!)

There is evidence of excessive use of exclamation marks in the day’s writing (emails, blog posts, documents)!

I can’t sleep.  Because I’m so excited.  About nothing in particular.  Boo Yaa!

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We spent the weekend in Mar del Plata to visit the boy’s family.  We had home-cooked food, spent time by the sea and generally relaxed for three days.  But my oh my, what three days of pure frustration they were for me.

After 8 classes of Español para Extranjeros, I was feeling fantastic leaving Buenos Aires armed with what I thought was a battalion of new verbs and tenses with which to communicate.  I was WRONG.  Speaking in class and understanding the teacher is VERY different from speaking in real life and understanding people in real life.  Real life doesn’t speak as slowly or as clearly as my professors do.  Verbs don’t conjugate themselves as quickly or as easily in my head during real life.  And nobody is writing me simple tense letters in real life.  Real life español has been a real shock.  I am sad. =(

I don’t know who I was kidding when I thought I could jump into a school and learn Castellano via osmosis.  If I just sleep on the verb book, won’t it all just soak into my brain at night?!  And doesn’t eating Argentinian food – cooking it even! –  doesn’t that count for some form of mercy from the language gods?!  

Oh the pure frustration of hearing bits and pieces of a conversation and not being able to conjugate quickly enough to contribute!  So incredibly annoying!  I know I should look at it as more exciting, and new and fun, but really, I’m tired of not being able to contribute a normal sentence in a very normal conversation!!!

I need a new strategy and I need it fast.  Any advice on how I can learn more quickly?  As in, lightning fast quickly?!  

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I am a hermit crab

April 15, 2010

… for here is Felipe’s traveling gift, his superpower, the secret weapon that renders him peerless: He can create a familiar habitat of reassuringly boring everyday practices for himself anyplace, if you just let him stay in one spot.
- Elizabeth Gilbert, of her Brazilian lover Felipe, from ‘Committed’

After months of endless travel, I’ve definitely felt the need to find a nest.  Camping through Africa, hostel hopping through Italy, budget travel through Asia – all of it took a toll.   Long term, high energy, country-hopping gets old.  After a while, each city starts to feel the same: crowded, hectic, modern.  It stops being fun when you fail to see the magic.  This is why I stopped trying to tick countries off my long list and instead spent weeks at a time in certain cities.  I spent three weeks in Bali in a small cottage in the rice fields.  We played house in Vancouver for nearly a month. And now I’m here in Buenos Aires until mid June.  Sometimes, it takes more than a few pictures, dinners and cab rides to find the soul of a place.  And travel where I can to find the soul of a place has become more important to me.

During my early weeks here in Buenos Aires, before I began to get a grasp of the language, I found myself feeling completely isolated.  We’d walk by coffee shops full of people, gathered for afternoon tea and I’d long for a group of friends to call my own with whom I could socialize over coffee with.  Sometimes home feels so very far away.

But, like a hermit crab, I’ve learned to create a home wherever I happen to land.  Immediately I unpack, claim drawer and closet space, find a cup to hold my toothbrush, fill a bowl full of fresh fruits, search for a favourite music station, buy plants that need watering.  I don’t just stay somewhere.  I move in.

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And this phenomenon of being able to take any place – a hotel room, an apartment, a tent – and make of it a comfortable and familiar home, is an amazing thing.  Human beings are so adaptable and often I forget just how easy it is to find contentment in a place.  I’ve agonized over which city I should choose next, where I’d like to live, what kind of apartment I’d like to rent, what neighbourhood would suit my lifestyle.  But then I realize that the daunting details don’t matter so much.  What matters are a few simple things:

  • The knowledge that nothing is permanent, that all things are temporary, that every moment is an opportunity to take in the best that any place or person has to offer.
  • The knowledge that love is not bound by place or time, and that the people most important to me are just a phone call away.  Love reaches out and gives infinitely.
  • The knowledge that buildings, rooms, houses are just things.  They are hollow spaces that become significant only when we add elements of life and love: a bundle of flowers, a home-cooked meal, a favourite book.
  • The knowledge that the newness, the learning, the discomfort and the joy – all of it – are blessings that can’t be taken for granted.  I am here, I am now, this is where I belong.

Last night, fresh after a rain shower, we bought giant daises from a street vendor on our walk home from Spanish school.  They lean in a giant glass vase on the living room table.  Fresh flowers.  Another small thing that makes a big difference in the life of a hermit crab.

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On passion

April 14, 2010

If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the people to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders.  Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.
- Antoine De Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

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Seth Godin often talks about the importance and significance of tribes.  Macheads are a tribe.  Twitter users are a tribe.  Boca Junior fans are a tribe.  Entrepreneurs are a tribe.  Surrounding yourself with people in a tribe that you believe in or long to belong to is important.  If you want to be a musician, surround yourself with people who long for nothing more than to play music.  If you want to be a writer, drown yourself in literature that inspires you, surround yourself with good mentors, practice your craft.  If you want to be an inventor, seek crazy motivated people who want to make things that matter.  If you want to create a charity to help needy women, give of yourself to the women in your community, see what a difference your effort makes and envision a grander plan.

We are what we think and who we surround ourselves with.  We are the sum of our efforts, thoughts, desires.  And if you’re sitting at your desk doing work that someone else has asked you to do but you don’t truly believe in, the nagging feeling that you’re wasting away hours of your precious life contributing to someone else’s passion instead of yours will soon become a pounding voice in your head that won’t be ignored.  Sooner or later, the truth of your heart’s desires will whisper ever so clearly, asking for the space and time and wings to take flight.  Are you going to listen?

Sometimes, passion is scary.  Sometimes it is our strength, not our weakness, that most scares us.  Why?  Because we fear most what we want most.  Isn’t your greatest desire worth taking a gamble on?

What is my vast and endless sea?

It is the feeling that I am tapping my creative energies everyday, in all I do.

It is the desire to touch others, to help them succeed, to make a difference in the life of one girl, one woman, one person.  And then again.

It is the desire to live in the zone of my existence, with a feeling of constant purpose, goodness and love.

It is writing and finding the truth in writing.  It’s sharing wisdom, it’s sharing inspiration, it’s using the power of words to share a message worth spreading.

It is the desire to build something with likeminded people, with a common purpose, a shared vision.  It is decision making on the fly, it is agility, it is innovation, it is change.  It is working in small teams and doing great, fun things.

It is the desire to find wisdom, courage and grace in every moment.  It’s lending a hand, it’s sharing insight, it’s learning from the now.  It’s giving without the desire to receive.  It’s openness and closeness at once.

It is living with arms wide open.

This is my vast and endless sea.

What is yours?

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